Those of you who have read the odd entry from time to time will know that, of the projects I have proposed in this blog, my target of a 360 page book was the one I was most pre-occupied with, most inclined to write about and most proud of to date.
It is therefor with some regret and at least an equal measure of personal shame that I must report the following: on or about November 13, 2011 at approximately 9:30 am a piece of previously presumed "unbreakable" hardware malfunctioned and delivered at least 150 of the 180 pages written to date into the 'eternal ether and beyond' that is the final resting place of all corrupted data files.
I have not yet had the heart to confirm the exact page count by referring to my last hard backup which, I am sure you can gather from the previous paragraph, took place before several of my more recent periods of inspiration.
I am, as I am sure you can imagine, pretty pissed. I direct my current rage by turns at the manufacturer who designed a machine with an obvious self-destruct mechanism and at myself for trusting said manufacturer and failing to back-up the damn thing as often as I thought to myself "hmmm I should really do a back-up soon" but then wandered off to watch Star Trek instead.
So, as its stands, my project goals stand at the following degrees of completion at year 2:
A) Novel 30/360 pages (approximate);
B) Painting (see attached photographs); and
C) Opera (One Act - lyrics only).
There is, however, no use in crying over spilled milk and I will say that, in some ways, the utter destruction of what I had written over the last 6-8 months is, in one sense, a relief. It's easier to revise something with a complete overhaul than it is to do it in bits and pieces. Having got as far as half way through the story this time meant I had committed to various plot developments that created small problems in terms of character and dialogue developments in later scenes. Now I have the opportunity to redesign the elements that were troubling me without having to go through every page with a fine tooth comb to correct them. So, that's a plus.
Let me be your spokesperson, save early save often and, most important, save in multiple, consistent locations.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
5.5 hours to Go
I don’t have long to write this post, which is a pity given that I’ve been wondering how to go about a graceful acknowledgment that my year long target will be expiring in roughly 5.5 hours and I have yet to dutifully check each of my ambitious goals off the list. I don’t like to admit defeat but I’m going to have to admit sanity and say that this particular year was a reasonably full one without the hobbies.
I did manage to write about ½ of my book. My goal is for 360 pages and I’m somewhere just short of 180 (golf claps please). I did actually do a little bit of painting (pictures to follow, but only out of focus ones that hide my actual painting skill level) and while I confess to not having touched an instrument with the intention of writing a song, I did buy garage band for the IPAD, (so that counts as a step right?). I tried out for a couple shows, in lieu of writing music I thought I’d just sing it. I actually got offered a lead in one of them, but the rehearsal schedule was too demanding, so here we are back to square one.
All in all I feel pretty decent about it. I mean, I got half a book written. I’ve been working on this thing coming on 18 years and the bulk of it was the last six months. I think that’s going to feel good just to finish.
My fatal flaw was a combination of competing interests. I had the awful revelation that a blog was a record of time spent not working that others could track and for some reason that seemed like a bad thing at the time. Honestly, some things more important than my inner selfness happened. I’d say I really fell off the wagon in March of this year when some family matters arose that took priority. However, I expect that life can just be a series of excuses if I let it and as a consequence I’m signing up for year two. Keep you posted, but for now, back to work.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
I can see the future...that I wrote down.
A lot of authors talk about how writing has a therapeutic quality. I won’t go that far as I lack the personal insight to say it’s more than something I just really enjoy. However, I have noticed a phenomena that dovetails with that aspect of writing. I mean, of course, the predictive element of writing “what you know”.
My characters are not people that I know. Some of them are composites, some of them are in parts of situations that I have heard of, or personally experienced, but the version I write down has about as much relationship to reality as grape Kool-Aid does to the wine producing fruit.
But the part that I find really interesting is having written a bunch of stuff down, which is mostly how these people I have invented would operate under particular circumstances, I’m having a hard time ignoring how there are real life parallels to my imaginary people’s lives. I think this actually means that there is very little that is actually new under the sun and if a person takes the time to capture a few patterns in a story you can make some accurate predictions that are applicable in a variety of situations.
What I mean is, since starting this project every time someone mentions something that I am using in my book I feel an odd sense of proprietary interest. I was talking to a friend last night who really doesn’t like the small town she came from and it was all I could do not to shout “I’m writing a book about that”. Fortunately, I know, rather than feel, that my recreation is not objectively captivating to everyone who happens to stumble on a topic that I cover.
Seriously though, all that predictive stuff sounds like a bunch of Charlie Kaufman or Stephen King speak. I have no intention of having the characters in my story arrive at the author’s house looking for answers. You can call me old fashioned, but I think the fourth wall is unappreciated.
So in terms of the actual progress of the book, I was finding that I was rushing again. By this I mean I set down to write a scene that I intended to be more and am finding the action moves much more quickly than I thought. Which all is a way of saying this little novella is likely going to be fewer pages than I’d hoped. I have had many portions including most of the first chapter written for years. I finished the ending before I started this project and I’ve got portions of several of the intervening chapters.
While I prefer to write from start to finish, without jumping around, I’m finding that because my time for the project is limited I have to approach it in portions of work, which means sometimes moving forward in the narrative and working on the part that I remember my plan for. Rather than just reading through the first 60 pages every time I sit down to write to ensure I’m still in the right style.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Lost Gaijin
Those of you who know me well, know that I have a pretty sweet life. Case in point, I am traveling to Tokyo for a vacation with my sister and her husband and two children. They have been living in 'Nippon' for two years and will be showing me around. My mother will also be there and my executive airfare from Seattle to Tokyo is courtesy of air miles that my mother collected. Not too shabby.
Now, what has this got to do with writing? I hear you cry. I was going to be using a good portion of this morning to work on my book project. I had the best laid plans, in the very general sense that spare time in lay-overs was to be spent writing.
That was until I woke up at 5:00 am this morning, sat bolt upright in bed and began the dance that only those who have slept through or otherwise managed to screw up setting an alarm know. It is the one legged dance of dressing yourself while calling a cab company with your free hand all the while chanting things to youself like "calm down, calm down, calm down". My first phone call of the morning was to Blue Bird Cabs Victoria and went something like "HiIneedacabtotheairportandIsleptthroughmyalarm."
I had just enough time to put on my shoes, feed my cats and run out the door. I'm not sure I locked the door but I really hope so.
Fortunately, I've been on the side of the paranoid angels for years when it comes to preflight packing and everything was sitting by the door in a tidy little pile. Although, I did realize on the flight to Seattle that I forgot to pack a towel, but I'm getting a head of myself. So I roll into my parking lot with my bag and my backpack just as the cab pulls up. Kudos to Blue Bird Cabs by the way, please give them your business. I run to the cab. The driver steps on it and we're off like a bat out of hell.
Now, I'm a pretty practical person and I can tell you that I knew when I woke up that I had missed the flight without question. But, I also have a fair amount of experience with airports and I know the key attitude to getting to your end destination is never say die. En route, back in the cab, I call into the AirCanada customer service desk to see if there is a 7:00 am flight, because at this point all I can think about is the connecting flight to Tokyo that I'm taking from Seattle. They can't help me but wish me luck.
When you're running for a plane you can get a kind of single-minded stupidness that makes you think that this flight is the most important thing you've ever done in your life and if you don't make it your mom won't love you anymore, and your professional friends will lose all respect for you, and before long you will be in ruin all because you couldn't manage to take a vacation properly. I am familiar with this level of pre-flight excitement and did my best to keep myself calm with deep breaths and visualization of the now popular Old Spice commercials. But the cab driver still felt the need to tell me regularly that everything would be ok.
I jump out of the cab and into the terminal at 5:28, in time to be called ridiculously late by the AirCanada Jazz employee KH. The details of what happened next are not entirely consequential except that the "well-wishing" customer service agent I had spoken to early edited my reservation while I was at the service desk speaking to the attendant by effectively deleting it! This had the effect of locking out AirCanada employee KH so that she could not book me on a later flight. I think that little stunt irked AirCanada employee KH, who instead of continuing the typical AirCanada policy of messing with aeroplan customers took pity on me, gave me a lecture about punctuality and got me out on the next flight to Vancouver. I will be bringing something back for her and welcome suggestions for what is an appropriate gift for the AirCanada employee who just gave a *&^% about someone she didn't have to.
I had another Amazing Race type connection through US Customs (as I now had 1 hour instead of 2.5 to make the gate) but through the grace of a bunch of really helpful people who I may never see again I made it to Seattle and am just three hours from departure to Japan.
The kicker about the whole production was the night before I actually considered a double alarm (cellphone plus alarm clock) but thought "this has never happened to me and I will engage in that degree of over-kill". However, as my favourite script writer would say, "turns out that was just the right amount of kill". I imagine at 4:00pm this afternoon my cats will find themselves rudely awakened from their afternoon nap.
So, I'm going to use this time to write (although I'm eyeing up the complimentary bar and frankly I'm thinking that its 5 o'clock somewhere). I will shoehorn this story into my blog by saying that I think this story illustrates rather usefully that sometimes you have to get another story off your mind before you can focus on writing.
Now, what has this got to do with writing? I hear you cry. I was going to be using a good portion of this morning to work on my book project. I had the best laid plans, in the very general sense that spare time in lay-overs was to be spent writing.
That was until I woke up at 5:00 am this morning, sat bolt upright in bed and began the dance that only those who have slept through or otherwise managed to screw up setting an alarm know. It is the one legged dance of dressing yourself while calling a cab company with your free hand all the while chanting things to youself like "calm down, calm down, calm down". My first phone call of the morning was to Blue Bird Cabs Victoria and went something like "HiIneedacabtotheairportandIsleptthroughmyalarm."
I had just enough time to put on my shoes, feed my cats and run out the door. I'm not sure I locked the door but I really hope so.
Fortunately, I've been on the side of the paranoid angels for years when it comes to preflight packing and everything was sitting by the door in a tidy little pile. Although, I did realize on the flight to Seattle that I forgot to pack a towel, but I'm getting a head of myself. So I roll into my parking lot with my bag and my backpack just as the cab pulls up. Kudos to Blue Bird Cabs by the way, please give them your business. I run to the cab. The driver steps on it and we're off like a bat out of hell.
Now, I'm a pretty practical person and I can tell you that I knew when I woke up that I had missed the flight without question. But, I also have a fair amount of experience with airports and I know the key attitude to getting to your end destination is never say die. En route, back in the cab, I call into the AirCanada customer service desk to see if there is a 7:00 am flight, because at this point all I can think about is the connecting flight to Tokyo that I'm taking from Seattle. They can't help me but wish me luck.
When you're running for a plane you can get a kind of single-minded stupidness that makes you think that this flight is the most important thing you've ever done in your life and if you don't make it your mom won't love you anymore, and your professional friends will lose all respect for you, and before long you will be in ruin all because you couldn't manage to take a vacation properly. I am familiar with this level of pre-flight excitement and did my best to keep myself calm with deep breaths and visualization of the now popular Old Spice commercials. But the cab driver still felt the need to tell me regularly that everything would be ok.
I jump out of the cab and into the terminal at 5:28, in time to be called ridiculously late by the AirCanada Jazz employee KH. The details of what happened next are not entirely consequential except that the "well-wishing" customer service agent I had spoken to early edited my reservation while I was at the service desk speaking to the attendant by effectively deleting it! This had the effect of locking out AirCanada employee KH so that she could not book me on a later flight. I think that little stunt irked AirCanada employee KH, who instead of continuing the typical AirCanada policy of messing with aeroplan customers took pity on me, gave me a lecture about punctuality and got me out on the next flight to Vancouver. I will be bringing something back for her and welcome suggestions for what is an appropriate gift for the AirCanada employee who just gave a *&^% about someone she didn't have to.
I had another Amazing Race type connection through US Customs (as I now had 1 hour instead of 2.5 to make the gate) but through the grace of a bunch of really helpful people who I may never see again I made it to Seattle and am just three hours from departure to Japan.
The kicker about the whole production was the night before I actually considered a double alarm (cellphone plus alarm clock) but thought "this has never happened to me and I will engage in that degree of over-kill". However, as my favourite script writer would say, "turns out that was just the right amount of kill". I imagine at 4:00pm this afternoon my cats will find themselves rudely awakened from their afternoon nap.
So, I'm going to use this time to write (although I'm eyeing up the complimentary bar and frankly I'm thinking that its 5 o'clock somewhere). I will shoehorn this story into my blog by saying that I think this story illustrates rather usefully that sometimes you have to get another story off your mind before you can focus on writing.
Monday, December 20, 2010
The Subaru Effect
You know this effect. You've never noticed or cared about a make of car in your life until you take a ride in, or purchase one and suddenly they are positively everywhere. You see them in the highway, at the grocery store and it turns out your best friend has been driving one unbeknownst to you for years.
I can say that I've always been interested in writing and in language. But for me that's usually been a function of word choice, vocabulary and the aesthetic appeal of words. I've always treated grammar as more of a necessary means to an end. I've been guilty of playing fast and loose with spelling and, let's face it, will be again as my overall dogma about the arbitrariness of the anglo vs. american spelling differences remains unchanged. But since writing in a little more earnest than heretofore, and with the concept of an audience in mind, I'm suddenly noticing how other writers use grammar. It's like a freaking Subaru. It used to be that language, like a car just got me from point A to point B. Now I'm turning into one of those insufferable jerks who wants to write those essays you had to read in high school about "form". Wait, I suppose "turning into" may be inaccurate.
I'm about a halfway into chapter two and I've actually had to jump ahead into other chapters in various parts of the story and flesh those elements out first. Part of the reason is I have a better concept of the high points I want to hit then I do of the connections. If I leap around a little then I have focus points to drive the story with (see that another driving reference) and the narrative is smoother. I don't recall if I've made this comment before but working this way makes me feel like I'm uncovering or discovering the story that I've already written instead of sitting stumped about how to get all the way to point Q from point C. This technique also helps with a sort of anxiety that comes with being this early in a project. I worry I won't ever finish, or that if I finish it won't be good. I've done enough things in my life to know that isn't the case and that it will get done one way or another. The real question is how efficiently, or enjoyably will I be able to connect the dots of ideas into a finished product and how much discipline can I exert to keep from rushing the quality (of which I will be the sole arbiter).
Chapter 1 was a rousing success in that I actually had to cut myself off at a certain point and move on in the story. I had lots to say on the themes and characters. Chapter 2 is not suffering from that particular difficulty. I'm finding that in some places the outline I have provided gives me insufficient material if I haven't properly considered, or made sufficient note of, why I've included those ideas. It's a bit like going grocery shopping when you can't remember what you planned on cooking. As it is, the second chapter is only half complete but I've run through all the chronological material I had planned.
Thank god for flashbacks. Although, I hereby solemnly swear I will not do back story on every character just to make up for the fact that I didn't plan enough material to get me to the end of a season, I mean chapter (I'm looking at your Seasons 3 and 4 of Lost).
I'm not sure exactly how to get out of this particular douldrum. I've tried the "just sit and write" technique of the professionals and I think I understand the point is to just get something out and avoid the analysis paralysis or writers block that can kill a project in its tracks I don't think that's the answer here. If I just churn something out, without taking the time to consider why, then I can expect to come back and rewrite it later. I've heard some writers are more careful and measured in their approach. Course, most of them are dead so I can't ask them. Maybe their volume of work is smaller but I think I'll be satisfied with a novella that says what I intended over a novel that is descriptive page filler. I read the first 50 pages of Les Miserables and from what I remember they were all describing the door or sacristy of a church. I'm sure there was a metaphor there somewhere but I think I'll aim for a slightly more declaratively style than that.
On a "grand scheme" related note, I may need to swap a new project in and one of the others out. I know, and before you break into a rousing chorus of "But Kraemer that was the bet" let me explain that I've been cast in a volunteer, fundraising musical which promises to be very fun and very time consuming.
I figure if it meets the criteria of the initial project a) to be bloggable and b) to be non-work related it may be worthwhile. Although, I'm not sure who to vote off the island in it's favour: painting or opera. It would make the most sense to punt the opera as the musical is...well, music. I welcome opinions on the subject from my 2 blogg followers (love yah both ladies).
I'm continuing to really enjoy the act of writing. It's always been a great source of escape and there is something very cathartic about organizing your ideas, even your made up ideas, into a recognizable form. This process has actually shown me how much I rely on escapism to get through many of the difficult aspects of my life. I suspect it's because there is such a measurable outcome associated with such an obvious manifestation of mental flight. However, I'm not going to assume that it's a bad thing for me to step outside the four corners of my world on a semi-regular basis. That is, as long as I remember that I drive a Chevy now.
I can say that I've always been interested in writing and in language. But for me that's usually been a function of word choice, vocabulary and the aesthetic appeal of words. I've always treated grammar as more of a necessary means to an end. I've been guilty of playing fast and loose with spelling and, let's face it, will be again as my overall dogma about the arbitrariness of the anglo vs. american spelling differences remains unchanged. But since writing in a little more earnest than heretofore, and with the concept of an audience in mind, I'm suddenly noticing how other writers use grammar. It's like a freaking Subaru. It used to be that language, like a car just got me from point A to point B. Now I'm turning into one of those insufferable jerks who wants to write those essays you had to read in high school about "form". Wait, I suppose "turning into" may be inaccurate.
I'm about a halfway into chapter two and I've actually had to jump ahead into other chapters in various parts of the story and flesh those elements out first. Part of the reason is I have a better concept of the high points I want to hit then I do of the connections. If I leap around a little then I have focus points to drive the story with (see that another driving reference) and the narrative is smoother. I don't recall if I've made this comment before but working this way makes me feel like I'm uncovering or discovering the story that I've already written instead of sitting stumped about how to get all the way to point Q from point C. This technique also helps with a sort of anxiety that comes with being this early in a project. I worry I won't ever finish, or that if I finish it won't be good. I've done enough things in my life to know that isn't the case and that it will get done one way or another. The real question is how efficiently, or enjoyably will I be able to connect the dots of ideas into a finished product and how much discipline can I exert to keep from rushing the quality (of which I will be the sole arbiter).
Chapter 1 was a rousing success in that I actually had to cut myself off at a certain point and move on in the story. I had lots to say on the themes and characters. Chapter 2 is not suffering from that particular difficulty. I'm finding that in some places the outline I have provided gives me insufficient material if I haven't properly considered, or made sufficient note of, why I've included those ideas. It's a bit like going grocery shopping when you can't remember what you planned on cooking. As it is, the second chapter is only half complete but I've run through all the chronological material I had planned.
Thank god for flashbacks. Although, I hereby solemnly swear I will not do back story on every character just to make up for the fact that I didn't plan enough material to get me to the end of a season, I mean chapter (I'm looking at your Seasons 3 and 4 of Lost).
I'm not sure exactly how to get out of this particular douldrum. I've tried the "just sit and write" technique of the professionals and I think I understand the point is to just get something out and avoid the analysis paralysis or writers block that can kill a project in its tracks I don't think that's the answer here. If I just churn something out, without taking the time to consider why, then I can expect to come back and rewrite it later. I've heard some writers are more careful and measured in their approach. Course, most of them are dead so I can't ask them. Maybe their volume of work is smaller but I think I'll be satisfied with a novella that says what I intended over a novel that is descriptive page filler. I read the first 50 pages of Les Miserables and from what I remember they were all describing the door or sacristy of a church. I'm sure there was a metaphor there somewhere but I think I'll aim for a slightly more declaratively style than that.
On a "grand scheme" related note, I may need to swap a new project in and one of the others out. I know, and before you break into a rousing chorus of "But Kraemer that was the bet" let me explain that I've been cast in a volunteer, fundraising musical which promises to be very fun and very time consuming.
I figure if it meets the criteria of the initial project a) to be bloggable and b) to be non-work related it may be worthwhile. Although, I'm not sure who to vote off the island in it's favour: painting or opera. It would make the most sense to punt the opera as the musical is...well, music. I welcome opinions on the subject from my 2 blogg followers (love yah both ladies).
I'm continuing to really enjoy the act of writing. It's always been a great source of escape and there is something very cathartic about organizing your ideas, even your made up ideas, into a recognizable form. This process has actually shown me how much I rely on escapism to get through many of the difficult aspects of my life. I suspect it's because there is such a measurable outcome associated with such an obvious manifestation of mental flight. However, I'm not going to assume that it's a bad thing for me to step outside the four corners of my world on a semi-regular basis. That is, as long as I remember that I drive a Chevy now.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Avoidance to the Rescue
Somedays I need a distraction and today is just that day. So without further ado, allow me to be distracted! Let's recap, my "chapter 1 challenge" was mostly successful. I say mostly because it didn't happen over the weekend as planned. Instead it was later that week, as my schedule would allow. While part of me wants to say "Kraemer that was the bet", meaning it was a zero sum target, I haven't forgotten this is my hobby and I'm pretty happy to have got that done.
Part of why it didn't happen entirely according to schedule was at first I tried to just force myself to write, (like I was being paid by the word). I had to actually leave it alone for a while and come back to it with a better attitude. This is because, frankly, it was sucking. It didn't take a huge shift in approach, just a little more interest in what I was actually doing, instead of sole interest in meeting a random target. That's really all it took and I got some additional ideas when I took a little more time and effort that rounded out the chapter. It's fun to use the story as an excuse to do a little research on random things like waterfalls and skid-loaders.
Now onto other things. The title of today's entry is referring to what these projects actually mean to me and their role in my life. I have few opportunities these days to slip away entirely into something that has no consequences. Writing is allowing me to blow off steam. Moreover, I find that writing fiction allows me to express things that are interesting to me, or otherwise captivating or bothering me in a way that is out of context and not harmful. But it can be pretty all consuming. I came home after a stressful day and all I wanted to do was pick the story up and sink into it (I didn't tonight because I knew I'd have about enough energy to write a page and then fall asleep).
I'd say on a scale of 1-10 that's a 9 of a successful hobby. So my next task will be to either review the plot line and refine it (which is what I end up doing if I can't get my head around the task) and/or start the second chapter and hopefully get 15 pages in our so. It's already November and I'm still puttering away on the first project but I don't want to split my limited time so I guess I'll have to say "suck it up buttercup" to myself and keep at it.
Part of why it didn't happen entirely according to schedule was at first I tried to just force myself to write, (like I was being paid by the word). I had to actually leave it alone for a while and come back to it with a better attitude. This is because, frankly, it was sucking. It didn't take a huge shift in approach, just a little more interest in what I was actually doing, instead of sole interest in meeting a random target. That's really all it took and I got some additional ideas when I took a little more time and effort that rounded out the chapter. It's fun to use the story as an excuse to do a little research on random things like waterfalls and skid-loaders.
Now onto other things. The title of today's entry is referring to what these projects actually mean to me and their role in my life. I have few opportunities these days to slip away entirely into something that has no consequences. Writing is allowing me to blow off steam. Moreover, I find that writing fiction allows me to express things that are interesting to me, or otherwise captivating or bothering me in a way that is out of context and not harmful. But it can be pretty all consuming. I came home after a stressful day and all I wanted to do was pick the story up and sink into it (I didn't tonight because I knew I'd have about enough energy to write a page and then fall asleep).
I'd say on a scale of 1-10 that's a 9 of a successful hobby. So my next task will be to either review the plot line and refine it (which is what I end up doing if I can't get my head around the task) and/or start the second chapter and hopefully get 15 pages in our so. It's already November and I'm still puttering away on the first project but I don't want to split my limited time so I guess I'll have to say "suck it up buttercup" to myself and keep at it.
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